Boys Will be Boys

I don’t usually put desserts on The List, simply because I don’t frankly care if they all agree/disagree on whether or not to eat a particular sweet dish.  But recent events in the house prompted me to share this musing…

Kid #3 just turned 14.  As a boy, particularly a 14-year old boy, and especially particularly a 14-year old boy who is surrounded by girls five afternoons a week (including a little sister, worth extra points), I am reminded that it is sometimes his ultimate goal to gross out as many people (girls) around him as humanly possible.  Kid #3 is a figure skater, as is kid #4 and as were kids #1 and #2 (though kid #2 “retired” at the ripe old age of 7, immediately after beating kid #1, which I now know was his ultimate and really only goal).  Kid #1 was US national champion, kid #4 is a current US national champion, and kid #3 placed second this year.  So obviously he spends a good amount of time at the rink, and being figure skating and all, the boy to girl ratio would make any post-pubescent male green with envy.  However, being 14, he doesn’t quite appreciate the nuances of being surrounded by estrogen, tiny estrogen as it may be, but estrogen nonetheless.  Therefore, rather than impress these hoards of little ladies, he’d rather make them barf; which is, of course, the first step in every young man’s courting repertoire.

So his birthday arrived, and as is the tradition, cupcakes or some other such treat needed to be shared with the rink clan.  We’ve done Lakers cupcakes and hamburger cupcakes, as shown here.  The hamburger cupcakes are simply yellow cupcakes cut in half, stuffed with a slice of chocolate cupcake rolled in frosting and chocolate jimmies, with fondant cheese, tomatoes and lettuce, topped with a sprinkling of toasted sesame seeds.

But this year he wanted something better than the hamburgers, which were a huge hit.  Something testosterone-infused, something befitting his stature as a man among squealing girls.  He had no ideas, so of course one thing led to another and I decided to surprise him.

The night before his birthday arrived and I began assembling these creations.  Though the photos don’t do the process justice, suffice it to say while forming these delicacies kid #4 and I laughed so hard she shot milk out her nose while I collapsed on the floor trying to breathe through the guffaws.

So while this may not technically be something I’m willing to put on The List, the process and outcome fit so nicely with the overall goal — having fun with food in a way that will make the kids enjoy not only the eating of it, but the conversation around its creation and critique as well.

Yes, these are Poo Poo Brownies.  Piles of brownie “dog poop,” complete with tiny flies made of blue royal frosting, nonpareil eyes that I dyed with green luster dust, and tiny wings cut from sheets of nori.  We simply baked generic brownies (two trays — one light chocolate, one dark chocolate), mixed them together, rolled them, shaped them, added a fly, and we had cupcakes sure to gross out as many girls as possible.  To make things even better, a visiting team just happened to be at the rink that day, so he got to disgust double the number of small females and parents who don’t really know us.  Score.

To get technical, I baked the light chocolate tray til done, but the dark chocolate tray I left a bit underdone.  The mix of textures was particularly disgusting, in an awesome sort of way.  Nori cuts very nicely with regular craft scissors (be sure it’s nori, which means it’s already been toasted…if you use regular seaweed sheets, be sure to toast them first or they’ll wilt too fast), and a little baggie with a pinch of green luster dust colored white nonpareils perfectly.  With more time we would have placed the piles of brownie poo atop green “grass” icing, but to be honest I couldn’t find my “grass” icing tip at first pass and the green cupcake liners were left out when the Christmas stuff got packed, so we settled for those instead.  Next time we’ll plan ahead and make little silver cardboard pooper scoopers to place under the Poo Poo Brownies, too.

Not sure what next year will bring…but some zombie creation might be cool, or Organ Transplant cupcakes.  Hmmmm…

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